Preview of Coming Attractions

“One of the main (social) functions of a journal or diary is precisely to be read furtively by other people, the people (like parents+lovers) about whom one has been cruelly honest only in the journal”

-Susan Sontag Reborn:Journals and Notebooks 1947-1963

From Darryl Pinckney’s The Book of Lists: Susan Sontag’s Early Journals. The New Yorker Magazine. Dec 22 &29 2008.

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A public online journal cannot be a journal. It offers another layer of protection to the writer. Safety from documenting his/her true thoughts.  It is another excuse to put on a show, albeit, one that is viewed one step removed, by bodies in different rooms and eyes in different time zones.

This separation blurs the lines dividing public and private, but does not erase them entirely.

The author feels a release because his/her deepest thoughts are on the page and someone far away, at some later date, will read them.

Having a public journal online is a direct fulfillment of the exhibitionism Sontag spoke of in her journal (which was in turn discovered, read by others, bound, scrubbed, and sold in Barnes and Noble). Perhaps having a public journal online is a simpler, more direct way to get that hit of perversity, the need to show ourselves to anyone who cares to take precious seconds out of their day to look. Instant reverse voyeurism. I love thinking about people watching me and my most personal of writings.

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But then, I return to my first paragraph. Can you explore the depths of your writing if you know someone else knows you’re exploring it? It’s like toning down the swaying of my body when I play the piano in front of someone versus when I play it alone.  Does self-conscious rule the day with my public diary?

Before, I didn’t think that was the case, I thought the writing was fairly unadulterated. But now, I’m sensing that might not be entirely true.

No more safety nets.

Stop if you think that you’ve heard this one before Nothing’s changed, I still love you oh I still love you Only slightly only slightly less than I used to, my love.